The Cancer Warrior
My life flipped upside down on 28/08/19, I was diagnosed with Big “C” stage IV (subcutaneous t-cell lymphoma)with HLH(Autoimmune disease). It's a very rare type of cancer, with only 150 cases reported globally. The diagnosis came after staying in the hospital for about 3months with high fevers & rigors episodes daily. This date and devastating news are seared into my memory forever. After listening to this news I started trembling in fear & cried why me? What have I done wrong to deserve this? Why at this point in my life…. I am just in my 30’s.
Being diagnosed with Cancer is news no one wants to hear in their lifetime. It was completely unexpected & the most the difficult challenge I had to face.
I am grateful for my incredible family & close friends who went above and beyond to support me and still do. They made me feel strong enough to fight this battle like a warrior.
Though, At times, it felt very scary due to the side effects of chemo like losing your hair, feeling weak, facial changes & no energy at all. The only way to cope up was to keep your mind positive, stay strong and have faith in God. The last year has been extremely challenging for me & my family. I have seen good and worse days.
Chemo is a bitch, it’s as bad as they say it - the pain was indescribable. There have been days and months I have been bedridden due to pain, bones that ache, nausea, High-fever, feeling exhausted, no taste, mouth sores & weakness. It’s a mixture of feelings that moves deep into your soul and will change your life physically and emotionally.
But I had to be positive all this time to gain strength. Despite all that happened, I accept this as a moving point in my life which made me much stronger for life ahead. I still feel beautiful with or without hair.
I have kept this part of my life private, not a secret but private until I felt ready and able to discuss it.
I am 6 months old post stem cell transplant! April 14th 2020, was my rebirth. It's taken so much will and courage to get here and I am so grateful. The first 100 days post stem cell transplant are critical because transplant can be rejected and you can get critical illness.
My stem cell transplant treatment was during the pandemic (Covid 19), I had to be just by myself for 32 days in hospital with strictly no visitors allowed. I was put on conditioning therapy (pre transplant high dose chemo and radiation therapy for 7 days) and had no idea what lay ahead. I had no clue of what complications there might be? if the transplant would be successful or I will be able to get my life back. These days were difficult. The transplant was unworldly tough for me. I was way exhausted by the end of it. I shed so many tears of pain. I can't express what I have gone through. They put me on daily narcotics to keep the severe pains at a reduced level.
When you’re faced with the greatest obstacle and the only choice is to live, you take a deep breath; look the hardship in the eye, and focus. Focus on being well and focus on being strong. It took all the strength and motivation to overcome this & be a strong woman to be with my loved ones once I am back home.
Life never gives you a second chance I was lucky to have one in my life. My stem cell was done on 14th April 2020, my re-birth that’s what Dr & Nurses use to tell me (I am a newborn) and every one at the hospital gave me birthday wishes. My donor was my brother (100%match), my life saviour. Cancer has given me more strength and positivity to live life, be strong and nothing shall bring you down. I am 4 months post SCT & Neutropenic (means I have very low white blood cells to fight infection, hence isolation). As hard as this is I know I am one of the fortunate ones to have my beautiful family right by my side and my friends phoning & texting daily. Not to mention so many of you sending me encouragement, when I really needed it. I have been recovering slowly, overall the prognosis is good, so I am very hopeful.
I am definitely not out of the woods yet, i still have a very long way to go in terms of recovery but i feel proud to have made it this far to have transplant which is probably the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life to date.
