Sam Clow

I was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia (CML) back in 2019. 

Chronic cancer can put you in a bit of a weird middle ground; not fully fitting into the chronic illness community and not quite fitting into the cancer community. It’s hard to explain but I am sure many of you understand. I have found that being able to share my story has allowed me to find my own community - a fun amalgamation of both!

With that in mind here is my story. I believe I could have been diagnosed about a year before I actually was, if my worries had been listened to. Instead the doctors I saw dismissed my symptoms entirely, or chalked them up to stress. One even recommending I speak to someone at the religious college down the street.

Then, on my 27th birthday I stopped being able to see out of my left eye, seeing nothing but a blurring line. I thought I had a little too much fun celebrating and scratched it somehow. But, when it didn’t resolve I turned to an optometrist. She was absolutely amazing, sending me to the ER. I am sure she knew right away what it was, but she was so calm and reassuring that I was convinced the doctors at the ER would turn me away, there was no way this was an emergency!

Of course if you are reading this you know what came next. It was cancer. I had too many white blood cells and they had accumulated behind my eye. That optometrist saved my life. And I cannot thank that ER doctor enough, he made what was the worst day of my life significantly better than it could have been. He told my parents for me, and even visited me when I was checked into a totally different hospital.

Now, almost 7 years later I am still struggling to find the right meds. I am about to start on my fourth TKI. Turns out it is hard to find meds that work and don't also kick your butt!

Over these past 7 years I have found the most amazing support amongst my partner Alex, my doctor Dr. Christou, the outstanding nurses and admin staff at Module L at the Ottawa General, Extend Pharmacy, the Adolescent and Young Adults program at the Ottawa Hospital Cancer Centre, and of course the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada (LLS).

I am very grateful for the LLS resources that have helped greatly along the way, and I am hopeful for what advancements are in the horizon because of their research funding! 

As my story continues I hope that my journey brings comfort to others with chronic illness, just because the path is hard it doesn’t mean that we aren’t in this together.